New Home!

Hi. It's the 8th of September. You might not yet have been wondering where today's post is. After all, many of them have been rolled out only when I got in the mood of last minute panic :-) Well, not really, but you get the idea.

Guess what? My blog has found a new home: www.cyopro.com! My website still needs a few touches, but I made sure to get the blog section populated first. Everything else took...it took a while. Jah know. If I hear anyone say the word plug-in (technically, that's one word), I think I'm gonna give them "the look."

Okay. Lemme not go on about my WordPress work. I'm glad to let you know the site is up and running, and that's where my blog posts are going to be from now on. I wanted to make sure the first post on the new site made it at the start of this year eight.

Seven years at Blogspot. Wow. I think I'm already missing Blogspot a little. But, I have to let go of this thing, for the something new. :-)

Reminds me a bit of Mr. Monk and the Badge. Start watching at 3:44, but that tear-jerking clip starts at 4:50. You didn't think I'd leave here without mentioning Monk, did you? Have we met? (Also a Monk reference. Lol!)

Sigh. Thank you, so very much, for sticking around here with me.

Join me over there, won't you?



Claudia
www.cyopro.com
wwww.twitter.com/cyopro
www.facebook.com/cyopro - Yes. Facebook. It's not personal. It's a Page. :-)

All of Life is Happening

Among other reasons, I decided to make my website (cyopro.com) a "real website", as my first book is about to be published. The author's bio for Fourteen To Fortyish does make reference to my website, and, well, I did not relish the thought of readers heading to a starter page on Yahoo!

So, this past June, I made the leap! I asked around and went with the strong recommendation from one of the IT guys at work. I bought a template from Template Monster. The Live Chat guy was very good. He knew his stuff, and he was patient. Over three hours later - I had to choose from hundreds! - I was all sorted out. We'd narrowed it down to a WordPress theme, given that the flagship feature is going to be about the book and, a close second, my blog. Yes, this blog. Plus, he'd also walked me through purchasing hosting services from Blue Host. They're pretty good, too.

Thanks to help from sis, @MizDurie, who refused to have me languishing in the throes of copy and paste, I learned there was a plug-in to transfer blog posts from Blogger to my new WordPress-themed website. The transfer took about five minutes. It might've taken less time, had I not stopped to read and take screen shots of the instruction pages. Y'know? For my files? (Like I'm asking.)

Let's move on.

So, that's where I am now. I've changed the title of the home page; done some font changes; added photos, and populated the home page with starter copy. I recently referred to the write up/rationale for cyopro in its genesis. The words I'd written in my notebook back in 2010 still hit home: "...a vibrant place of engagement where stories are told and experienced...where authors go..." Okay, that's enough of a sneak peak. :-) The plan is to tighten it up here and there. I believe it will speak to someone. Relatability, right?

It's all coming together. Some days it feels like baby steps, and on others, I look back and think I've taken a leap. Annette did appear! :-) The timing of all this is something else, too. It has been an extremely busy year - so far!  I expect that the pace will not slow down and that things will be better. I've changed jobs; left the country a couple times; sold and bought new homes; moved; unpacked. Correction: I'm unpacking... During all of that, I finished and submitted my manuscript; provided write-ups; worked on the cover, and did the first revision of the interior file. And now, I've taken to work on my website. Yes, it does feel like all of life is happening - at once! :-)

You remember that saying, right? "Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different." - C.S. Lewis

Yeah, it's kinda like that.



Claudia
www.cyopro.com
www.twitter.com/cyopro

Squeezing Life Out of Life

There’s a quote, and I quote :-) “God put us on this earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don’t know.” I don’t remember where I first saw it. I like to remember where I first saw things. I think it was the mid-90s. Anyway, it always brings a smile.

I do believe that we were all put on this earth for a purpose - containing a number of smaller or not-so-clear purposes. The afore-mentioned “others” have theirs, too.  There’s another quote I came across in the mid-90s; this one by Woodrow Wilson: “We are not here merely to make a living, but to enrich the world with a finer spirit of hope and achievement and we impoverish ourselves if we forget the errand.”

Then, there’s the adult-life awakening I experienced as I came to be at peace with myself and stopped listening to the voices of the fears in my head. It was at the time I started my CYOPro blog…oh. I’m here. Yes, this blog. And, I was able to put into words my thoughts that the many dimensions to me are no surprise to my Maker. I was at last settled in the truth that I ought not to be “so heavenly-minded that I am no earthly good.” I’m a multi-dimensional creature trying to squeeze every bit of life out of life to the pleasure of my Creator.

So, when it itched to the point where I could no longer ignore it on the 23^rd of May, I had to scratch. I published a post out of the ordinary, about a matter that I do not ordinarily address in this space. And, I’m glad I did. (All blog posts for Jamaica Blog Day.)For, there are some things that simply will not ease up; will not let you go gently into that good night, until you drop what you are doing to do what you have to. And, I believe that if you have the power and the ability to do a service to make the world a better place, and you don’t do it? There will be a certain something that will eat at you and torment you and fill you with rest-of-your-life angst and regret. We have heard it over and over: no one can be you or be as good a you as you are. So, might as well get on with being yourself. For me, it is spiritual. I continually ask God to help me be the best of the me He created me to be. And, quite frankly, I need all His help I can get.

Sometimes, you don’t know the difference you make. I wrote about that a few years ago. You do something or write something or help someone and the deed takes on a life of its own as it traverses personal space or cyberspace and ignores geographical and other boundaries and deposits seeds of hope or wonder or delight into ready or waiting or yearning or aching hearts for such a moment as this. And this. And this. As moment begets moment, the effects of your deed take on new life and new meaning. It is a beautiful thing. Remember that favourite line of mine from that low-keyed movie? “Funny, isn’t it, how one moment can change a million after it?” (How She Move) Yeah, it’s kinda like that.

As for “squeezing life out of life”? It is easier said than done with all the responsibilities and commitments and obligations of day-to-day yadda yadda yawn. There are a couple of notions at play, here. One, that life has to be fun and exciting (read: filled with travel and/or wild adventurous things) and so on and so forth. For some, so it is. For some, not so much. Does it really mean that human beings are not living their lives to the fullest if they’re not doing totally wicked! things every day? I’d say it depends on what’s “totally wicked” as far as each of us is concerned. One size doesn’t fit all and…know what? Even in a generational context, one size still doesn’t fit all. 

To give you an idea of what was “totally wicked” for me as a teenager in Jamaica: One of my long-held desires was to one day climb that grand old tree out by Ferry. (Mountains and huge trees calm me. I think it’s the stature and majesty of them.) This one stood overpoweringly, amidst lesser trees, south west of the Ferry Police Station. And, every so often as I travelled to Kingston, I’d brush off my dream and picture myself scurrying…ok, not scurrying, but, climbing its huge branches all the way to the top. There was just one little…umm, hitch. I was – and still am – terrified of li*ards. I somehow couldn’t figure out a way, even in my daydream, to get rid of them; imagining them just waiting to terrorize me in the yet-to-be-climbed tree. Well, suffice it to say, on one of my trips back to Jamaica, I looked to see whether that tree was still standing. It was not. There it lay, a shadow of its former glory, roots hoisted in the air. It didn't look as though it had been brought down by act of man. I think one of the hurricanes uprooted it. I’m (mostly) over it.

So, yes, one person’s definition of a “totally wicked” life, is likely not the same as another’s. “Totally wicked” might be defined as “absolutely fulfilling” for some.  And, well, I need say no more on that.

Another notion is that the definition is wont to change over time. I don't desire to climb trees, anymore. (For the record.) When folks bother to ask what I do for fun, it’s easy for me to tell them that I write or read or watch movies. (That’s someone’s definition of boring, I imagine.) Still, that doesn’t mean that I don’t look forward to going out and talking to, y’know, people, once in a while. Ok. It’s not that bad. Point is, travel and get-togethers are also on the list occasionally. And, glad you asked. Yes, I’ve decided to do more of that now. I’ve attained a higher level of peace after off-loading to the Lord the other day. Hadn’t realized how much stuff/worry I’d accumulated since the years-ago awakening – even with all the recent decluttering. So, as I mentioned to someone the other day, I’m free, single and able to do whatever the heck I want. I said heck.

Some of that squeezing life out of life and “living it to its last drop” (Erma Bombeck) means doing for others. Some of that doing will get no recognition whatsoever. But, that’s okay. My duty is to be obedient and show up – even when I don’t want to. (Lord, You want me to do what?) Scroll up. That’s why I need all His help I can get. Serving should be done cheerfully. It doesn’t even have to make sense to neck. There is one thing that He seems to have built into serving/helping others. When you do something with all your heart, and you give it your best? You get a nice, warm feeling of joy in your spirit. And, you can’t help but think that He is pleased.

Claudia 

www.cyopro.com

www.twitter.com/cyopro

CYOPro in Barbados

I had the pleasure of spending my recent vacation - into birthday - in Barbados.  One of the friendships that started many moons ago at the University of the West Indies, flourished over the years.  As with many friendships, there were periods of silence, but, when we caught up, we caught up!  I paid her a visit almost fifteen years ago.  Now, a family later, we arranged the vacation and birthday celebration in her country, Barbados.

For some reason, I noticed quite a bit more this time around.  I think one of the main reasons is that, back then, I was getting over a very recent breakup.  Time away, anywhere, away from him and everything that reminded me of him, was good enough.  I had spent quite a lot of time writing, as well - a different sort.  Then, my friend, Debbie, was kind enough to take me around to most of the touristy spots.  We took quite a few pics - those that you had to send out to get developed and wait a week or so before you got them in your hand!  Good times.  Good times.

This time, we still did a few touristy spots.  But, for the most part, I was just happy to reunite, meet the family and get time away from my usual surroundings to write.  I did all of that!  Several hundred pics later (yeah, it's 2012), I gotta say it was a lovely, lovely trip.

One of my most memorable days was the day before my birthday.  We went on a picnic to Barclays Park, only for them to surprise me with a cake.  Not just any cake, but a birthday cake!  That was waaay cool! And so thoughtful.  Another highlight was the birthday itself.  What a fantastic day by the Boardwalk, along Rockley Beach!

I'm sure if we'd tried, we could have got 41 candles to fit!

A few things stood out during this trip.  On my first visit to the Boardwalk, I was eating cane.  Yes, peeled and sliced pieces of sugar cane.  I love cane!  So, there I was walking along and soon realized that I was getting a few glances from other folks going in the same and opposite direction.  It became so noticeable that I asked my friend about it later on.  She let me know that it was an unusual occurrence.  Bajans don't normally have sugar cane like that.  No big reason, either.  I thought back to Jamaica and became even more thankful that there's a "Caney" on almost every corner.  Well, not exactly, but, you catch my drift.

View from a section of The Richard Haynes Boardwalk

The day before I left, I went into a store to buy a few souvenirs.  I asked whether they accepted Canadian currency.  The cashier said they did not.  I used the BBD cash I had.  Perhaps I would've bought more souvenirs if they did.  Actually, scratch the "perhaps". They accepted US dollars, US credit cards or travellers' checks.  I didn't check with any other store re the accepted currency thing.  I figure it was standard, though.

Another thing.  What you see on the price tag is what you pay.  No taxes added at checkout.   Now, eating out may be a bit pricey, say, BBD$24 for a lunch of Rice and Peas and Chicken.  Or, as I noted by looking in, a footlong Subway sandwich is about BBD$25 - a bit more if it's going to be a combo.  The exchange rate is about CAD$1 to BBD$2.

And, this one always makes me smile.  Almost everybody - with a few exceptions - tell you good morning or good evening or hi or whatever!  Yes, exclamation sign.  It was a pleasant difference from what I'd become accustomed to in Canada, actually, in the US, too.  (I had lived in the Rochester, NY for several years.)  Here in Canada, once you get talking with most people, you discover they are nice to talk to.  However, on too many occasions, far too many to count, someone will enter an elevator, for example, see me and/or five others in it, and not say one single solitary word!  So, when I heard people passing by and wishing me a good morning and so on, it was a bit surprising, then, simply delightful.

I enjoyed visiting the St. George Parish Church; visited that lovely beach near Oistins; loved the sight of kites in the sky on Easter Monday and even saw a few monkeys paying unwelcome visits in people's yards!  Codrington College was also a pleasure to behold.

Codrington College

The sand felt goood under my feet.  (Beach near Oistins)

Ahh the majesty of big strong trees! (Beach near Oistins)

Still, nothing came close to the Boardwalk!  I'm glad I "carpe the heck out of the diem!" and shot my first CYOPro destination video right there and then.  Journey of a thousand miles... Well, just visit my channel already :-)

NB: Need to add this further to the previous post - eating humble pie while I type.  I signed in to YouTube a few days ago.  My Gmail tab was also open. There, in the upper RHC, was a whitish arrow pointing downward to the Gmail account I was logged into. How I missed that the last time must have been by divine intervention!  It caused me pain, but, I've come to realize that the current name works out better, given the ideas I have in mind for when my website comes into its own.  More anon :-)



Claudia
www.cyopro.com
www.twitter.com/cyopro

Getting Back Up

As they say in the movies, let's cut to the chase.  Create Your Own Productions  (CYOPro) now has a channel on YouTube.  I created it today.  I've been wanting to do it for a while, having a very good idea of the kinds of videos I want to make.  Several months ago, I created a gmail account specifically with that in mind. That would be the email address to be associated with the YouTube channel.

I was checking my personal gmail account today when I skipped over to a folder to review a few of the videos I had made while on vacation.  As I did that, it came to mind that I could use today, my last free day before getting back to work tomorrow, to create the channel - and upload the videos!  

Next thing I did was go to YouTube to create the channel. I chose my user name "CYOPro" and proceeded to upload, tag, describe and categorize the video.  I had done it!  A few minutes later, as I browsed my latest creation, I clicked on the user name and checked out details of the account.  Lo and behold, the email address that got associated (not "that I had associated", mind you) with that one special user name was my personal email address!  I had been checking emails in another tab, remember?  There had been no prompt (like, you are currently signed in to your email and will be linking x email address to this account.  Do you wish to proceed?) I hadn't signed out!  Oh, the horror!  The shock.  The disappointment.  "I should have known better; I should have known better," also came to mind.  I became so forlorn.

How did I let this happen?  I had been so careful to reserve the email address and the username and now, the connection I had wanted was not there.  Of course, I absolutely did not want the CYOPro YouTube account to be linked to my personal email account.  I searched their help centre high and low for a solution - switch username to other email address; change email address associated with user name.  Nada.  Zip.  Zilch.  No, actually, they did have something to say about it - just not what I wanted to hear.  In a nutshell, it couldn't be done.  (Sounds like there was something about being able to do it if it were a legacy account - if it had been opened before early 2009.  It didn't apply to me, so, that went in one eye and not the other.)  

Remember Kipling's "If"?  "If you can make one heap of all your winnings/And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss/And lose, and start again at your beginnings/And never breathe a word about your loss..."  (Well, never mind the last verse - 'cause I'm surely breathing more than a word about my loss, here.)  The rest of it,  though, is kinda how I felt.  

So, I did the next best thing - think of a new username; cancel the newly-created channel (at least I could have done that without deleting the email account associated with it); realize that the old username would not be available (even after cancelling the channel, people! Yep. This is the new Google-dom for you!) and link the new user name to the special email account I had set up months ago.

The name of my YouTube channel: CYOProChannel

Thereafter, I uploaded my first three videos.  Using this new Blogger look, so, here I go, inserting one of these vids, glitch-free! Of course, I could have just used a link to the video, but, where's the fun in that?

Know what, though?  After I uploaded the videos and watched them, I felt a swell of gladness.  After all, this is a project I'd wanted to start for a long time (more in the channel description), and, I've done it!  I shared it on FB and Twitter.  I wondered a little about the public's response.  But, having put myself out there (#byebyecomfortzone), I had a moment of reflection.  What do I think about it?  I think...no, I know I feel good about creating this production! 

Claudia 

www.cyopro.com

www.twitter.com/cyopro

Turning Back a Few Pages

I've found some sweet spots on the pages of Facebook. Yeah.  Let's just dive right in, shall we?

Having decided to be open in my Cyopro connections on FB, I've been transported back to a time about which I have really precious memories.  I've connected with people I met and knew in my twenties; people who cared to groom me and inspire me and look out for me - that sorta thing.  And, I've simply embraced the transport and the nice feelings that come with it.  We've touched based, shared a little, laughed (the LOL kind) a lot. But, invariably, it's with the comfort that...it's okay.  I don't have to wonder about probable hidden agendas; chips on shoulders; slight narcissism - you know, the kinds of things you are hap to discover in one or two people as you discover...yourself.

True, I've spoken before about linking with people you haven't seen from Adam.  That you never know how they have been shaped and by what: whether it's something from which you'd want to stay far far away.  However, I'm talking about a connection with older folks (I'd say not so much to be my mother, but they were, in a sense, pretty motherly); folks who were eager to affirm my strength and drive and self esteem and potential...  They were not afraid of doing so because they themselves stood secure in who they were.  That's how it seemed to me, and I've had no reason to doubt it.  So often we find that some stay clear of affirming the strength and beauty of others (not that they're needed to validate all that!) it's like, it'll diminish them in some way if they do.

But not these.  They gave of self and support.  That's how I remember it.  That's what has stayed with me from the season we spent together years ago.  And, it brings a smile when I read a message saying how proud they are of me!

As in every nostalgic episode, I imagine, we seek out and cling to that which makes us feel all happy and gay and free and at ease! (Yeah, that's what I said.)  We cling to that which makes us experience, in some way, the comfort and security we felt at that point in time.  I get it.  That is what has happened/is happening to me where these special connections - reconnections - are concerned.

And, I like!

They'll probably read this post one day so I say, thank you, Faith and Pat! (They did say I could drop the Mrs. this and Mrs. that! :-)


Claudia
www.cyopro.com
www.twitter.com/cyopro

The gawking, the stalking and the (non) talking: Confessions of a torn Facebook user

As promised, in this entry, I’ll share my take on Facebook and why I was only sorta on it. And this is as of right now. Hey, you never know! (Was just about to put a hashtag on that #YouNeverKnow – then I remembered where I was.) My feelings toward it might just change by next Tuesday. (Don’t ask!)

Well, there’s a good place to start. Feelings. I dare say, too many of mine were being engaged in the idea of making “Facebook friends” (quotation marks intentional) and connections. One of my girlfriends, whom I’ve known for more than 25 years, heard a smidgen of my angst the other day and summed it up quite nicely, “You are too weird!” All I could say was, “Yeeaaah.”

I joined Facebook sometime in early 2007, I think. My Facebook friends count now? About 46ish – in any case, it’s under 50. Essentially, three groups comprise the count – High School Alma Mater; the Alma Mater where I did my BA and the Alma Mater where I did my MA. The remaining connections are family, relatives and a few offline friends I’ve known since childhood.


THE GAWKING
I get that many people are interested in looking at pics of friends from Adam. The whole picture/thousand words thing does make sense. And it is fun to look and reminisce and all that. No substitute for going way back and enjoying it together. What I don’t get, though, is the gawking. People connect with others and simply comb through their pictures (yes, ‘cause they let ‘em!) clicking through album after album, without making a single comment. How do I know this? I found myself doing it. And I am 100% sure I’m not the only one who’s dunnit. And my doing that scared me that I could be that person – taking a kind of warped interest in the life of someone whom I hadn’t talked with in ages. Warped, because, after the gawking, I’d have no inclination, whatsoever, to exchange even two words! #EverGetThat? Not to mention my "Wait! Who's that living my life?" stares. Ouch! That musta hurt God's feelings.

I stopped gawking.


THE STALKING
Round about September of 2009, when I had about 50-something Facebook friends, I posted a kind note on my wall to inform that I was going to unfriend (or de-friend – whatever the term I used) a few people. I explained that I found we didn’t talk much and whenever I was on Facebook, I’d feel like I was stalking (!)

‘Cause I did feel that way, man!

I’d go on and check their walls and comments and what-not. I’d catch-up with their lives – as much as they cared to share – tracking their moves (?!) I mean, what was the point? Surely, there had to be more than that to Facebook. (Occasionally, one or two persons would say hi – they never gave up on me.) I convinced myself that I wasn’t using the space to its fullest potential; wasn’t making the best use of it at all. So, with plans to return after appointing an FAM (Facebook Account Manager – yeah), I took a hiatus. I recall one person saying that they (the un/de-friended) really weren’t going to like it (she wasn’t one of them). But, alas! The deed was done. I also opened my mind to the probability that some of those who’d remained would probably un/de-friend me. I was prepared.

Long after, I’d pop in – rarely – to post a vid I liked or an article I thought was worth sharing. That kinda thing.


THE NON-TALKING
I just wondered why folks would send invitations, and then not talk to me. Couldn’t see through that. Was an Facebook friend not a friend? Don’t friends talk to each other? Another aspect was just as puzzling. Friend request when we barely say hello offline? Even though we might cross paths every so often?

It took me a while to get it. Facebook friends are not necessarily friends, per se. No deep analysis required. They may be friends; associates; colleagues; someone you met once; third cousin twice removed; friend of a friend of a friend – you catch my drift. (I just recently caught that drift.)

Even though we had connected – after years and years of not knowing what each other had been up to; where each other’s beliefs now lie and so on – what we cared to share would, clearly, not tell the whole story. And the truth is that we really might not have much in common after all! Really might not have anything of such substance to glue a decent conversation together. To my mind, that explained a lot! That’s why we weren’t talking!

“Yes, Claudia,” you say. “That there is one of the mischiefs that Facebook tries to cure.” Get reacquainted and what not. I say fine, but, am I the only one who gets even a little bit queasy about reconnecting with long time friends/folks?

The big omission in all this? That thing that you’ve been waiting for me to admit? I wasn’t initiating m/any conversations myself. Of course, I’d go on about not talking and so on, but hardly ever said hello.


OUT OF HIATUS
Before coming out of hiatus, I got into Twitter more (@cyopro - see previous post for how that all went down.) I then permitted the app to run on Facebook and, Voila! I was instantly increasing posts and presence on Facebook! And, little by little (never “mis-underestimate” the power of baby steps), a few friends began to take note and the conversations began to grow more frequent. Then, a few old-new friends connected, and I accepted – without the level of queasiness I used to experience. (I tell you. Waaay too much thought.) As I lightened up a bit, for some areas, I started permitting “friends of friends” and, cautiously, in others, “everyone”! Mmhm! We’re cookin’ now!


ONLINE AND OFFLINE OPPOSITION
As with any online social network space, participation in Facebook highlights a kind of opposition, if you will, between online and offline realities. Many construct this virtual world and become convinced that it is “just like real life”. Nuh-uh! The personal pics and vids shared are, for the most part, pleasant. Indeed, they capture the moments of beauty. But, how many folks post pics and articles of ugly details of what’s happening to “others” in other countries or wherever and do/would do the same detailing the awful moments of their own lives? They may personally experience brutal and ugly moments, but those are not gonna make it to Facebook; not even in private albums. And even if some folks talk about it, sorta, they mightn’t touch the matter directly but kinda talk around it.

Offline, attention and popularity may wane; the 500 friends mightn’t show up at the barbecue (love this "Throw'd TV" clip). I see it as a space where folks enter, do stuff, then leave. I don’t know anyone who is “always on” Facebook, but I’ve heard that "they walk among us." And when the "book" is closed? When the site goes down at any time? I imagine there are shrieks of horror heard around the world. And, just imagine, those shriekers have to talk to other people now? Either that or scream at the computer until it gets back up. Not to worry. These addicts, well, they haven't lost their minds. They have them backed up on Facebook. Good thing FB allows you a zip file of your FB life - according to that site and a few others.


HEARING VOICES
As one of my sisters put it, when you get into Facebook, it’s like entering a huge space where everybody’s chatting and you’re hearing all these voices and some are talking with you and others are within earshot so you join in, if you feel like it, and you may be interrupted by someone who wants to chat when you’re trying to complete a move or a thought but, it’s organic and, like Hammy the speedy squirrel said in “Over the Hedge”: “It never ends!!!”

So, I’m in. Back. On. Into. On top of… (whatever) Facebook. I understand that there’s so much more to Facebook – groups, organizations’ pages etc. – a whole ‘nother’ world I have yet to explore. No, I don’t have a FAM – it’s just me. As I proceed, however, I’m ever careful. And, I’d ask you to exercise due care in building your online presence as well. To parody that Ontario Lottery and Gaming ad (and, I don’t play the lottery; I just think it’s a neat line): “Know your limit. Post within it.”


AND HOW DID THAT MAKE ME FEEL?
Last week, a former CFB Trenton Commander was sentenced to life with no possibility of parole for 25 years. I honestly don’t want to repeat the atrocities and perversions he committed. I’ve thought about posting a link…OK. Here’s one.

For a while, as this unfolded, I realized that, just given the graphic details that reporters provided, I could only read two accounts. I came to the realization that I did not want these things to be repeated to me over and over and over. Not once did I tune in to a TV news item or special coverage of what was unfolding. It was just too horrible. I read a part of a report after he had been sentenced. I made my last tweets on the subject – no more than two.

The crimes he had committed, the ways in which he had committed them (he pleaded guilty) and the reality that all this was embodied in one person who, on top of it all, held such a prestigious position, made me feel sick. And angry. And awful. So much so that, for a while, I could not get to that place where I could forgive him and have compassion on him. That’s not something that I could reconcile with my Christian beliefs and practice where forgiveness is everything! It eluded me. And, in a way, it still kinda does. But, I’m working on it. Honest.


Claudia
www.cyopro.com
www.twitter.com/cyopro