Today's edition of The Gleaner carries a story entitled: Day of Death. I read the story and found that the reporter, Daraine Luton, wrote with such vividness, while displaying sensitivity toward the remaining family members.
I imagine that anyone who's been privy to this story has come away believing that it is, in fact, something tragic and beyond sad. It is not possible to rehash here the kind and number of comments that have been made in other media. Nor, for that matter, do I want to. At the very least, it makes you stop and think.
I wrote a letter to the editor of The Gleaner late in the afternoon, in the hope that it will be published. The key messages? (1) be prepared for comments of all kinds when you make yourself present online and (2) let your family know that there is a way to delete your account (in this case, from Facebook), if you, or they, so wish to have that done after you die. (The shortcut to the deletion, which I hadn't mentioned in my letter, is simply to provide your password to someone you really trust. But, maybe not many people enjoy that luxury.)
My prayer is that God will give all the remaining family members - on both sides - the strength and peace that only He can give. I also pray that Ms. Joan will be blessed with a speedy and full recovery - the kind that defies all logic.
Claudia
www.cyopro.com
www.twitter.com/cyopro.com
Friday, 8 April 2011
Monday, 28 March 2011
The Shift in Optimism
I’ve been smitten by reflections on optimism recently. It’s great when an ad – for coffee, at that, but any ad, really – can lift your spirit; make you want to burst out in song – or tears. Your call.
Those BrewSomeGood ads from Maxwell House, along with a few sermons and some Bible wisdom have got me reflecting on the way I perceive things; the way I connect with others. And what have I found? I’ve found that somewhere along my lifeline, I shifted somewhat – not a lot but still enough to notice if you’ve known me from Adam. I’ve shifted from a default “eternally optimistic” to an abashed measure of “cautiously optimistic".
DEFAULT MODE
I'm pretty sure some of it may be chalked up to growing up. As the saying goes stteo: a man's mind, once stretched, can never go back to it's original dimensions. One really ought not to have the same mind at 30 as one did at 15, another quipped. That doesn't mean, though, imho, that the embedded strain of optimism; that positive outlook which forms the hallmark of some persons, have to disappear with a stretched mind. It hasn't, for me. But, I most certainly occasionally feel that in more and more instances, it's no longer default mode. It's kinda, "but then again..."; on second thought mode.
"At least you haven't lost it," you say. True. I haven't lost my positive outlook; my optimism. S'just that, of late, in the face of the aforementioned reminders, I'm realizing that I need to get back to where it's my default mode.
THE ONLINE SCENARIO
There are a few things that helped to usher me into this realm. I learnt long ago - probably it was on the cusp of becoming "cautiously optimistic" - that people are people wherever you go. If people feel appreciated, they'll likely work more willingly. If they feel unappreciated, their morale likely will fall. If they have been hurt, they'll likely put up their guard. We know it takes a while to build trust and usually no more than one act of betrayal or hurt for it to come crashing down.
Imagine how much more that likelihood is multiplied for online...relationships. (I use the term within this context ever so loosely.) For, connections online are, for the most part, just that, connections. But, here's the thing (go Monk!) whenever we venture into an online space, for social networking, hanging out, tweeting or other purposes, we are inviting other people into our sphere. We connect with followers or those we wish to follow; we accept friend requests and all that jazz, and at the click of a key, we have taken a whole other individual into our lives. A whole other person! We might think that it's just their professional side or their online persona. Let's not kid ourselves. Try as folks might, they don't compartmentalize as well as they might think they do. Given time and space, all their dimensions will be manifested to some degree in their "online self". And, as for those who just let it all hang out from day one? Again, a whole other person!!!
UNEXPECTED STRESSORS
So, when persons with whom you have a common interest (the point of the connection in the first place) begin to reveal sides of themselves that you hadn't seen coming; that conflict with your own values and belief system, what do you do? If they start to relate to the point of hurting you, what do you do? Do you just put up your guard? Start writing off people? Online relationships carry the luxury - if we could call it that - of immediate disconnection. No hard feelings - or so we think. For, in a number of instances, I'm pretty certain that some folks agonize over unfriending and unfollowing - especially when it's someone you at least sorta know or someone you knew from Adam but 20something years have passed without contact between you. As a human being, most times, the act of severing ties in any relationship comes from a conscious decision to do so. And what is the immediate thought? "What is he/she going to think?" or "Does this reflect poorly on me?" The point is, there is some amount of stress/anxiety related to the decision to sever ties.
How many of us can honestly unfriend or unfollow those we are to some degree acquainted with, without a second thought? I have found that it's not so easy. Quite a bit of thought might go into unfriending. Unfollowing might require a skin less thick. (Speaking of which, I don’t want to grow so thick a skin that I start looking and snapping like an alligator! I still want to be able to let some things through; things that will make me think and help me be a better person. Anyway, moving on…) More often than not, you don't know these people. If you do have some passing acquaintanceship, it's a hair's breadth more thought that goes into it. But, I maintain that persons should not subject themselves to disrespect, rudeness, hurt or any form of abuse online or offline.
The thicker the wall of anonymity, the harsher folks are wont to get when lashing out. Seen some comment boards lately? Some of them even allow the 'F' bomb - and I'm talking about (generally respectable) media house sites.
SHIFTING BACK
As I posted on the brewsomegood tweet stream the other day - a line from a really nice poem: "I'm drinking from my saucer, for my cup has overflowed."
True that!
Claudia
www.cyopro.com
www.twitter.com/cyopro
DEFAULT MODE
I'm pretty sure some of it may be chalked up to growing up. As the saying goes stteo: a man's mind, once stretched, can never go back to it's original dimensions. One really ought not to have the same mind at 30 as one did at 15, another quipped. That doesn't mean, though, imho, that the embedded strain of optimism; that positive outlook which forms the hallmark of some persons, have to disappear with a stretched mind. It hasn't, for me. But, I most certainly occasionally feel that in more and more instances, it's no longer default mode. It's kinda, "but then again..."; on second thought mode.
"At least you haven't lost it," you say. True. I haven't lost my positive outlook; my optimism. S'just that, of late, in the face of the aforementioned reminders, I'm realizing that I need to get back to where it's my default mode.
THE ONLINE SCENARIO
There are a few things that helped to usher me into this realm. I learnt long ago - probably it was on the cusp of becoming "cautiously optimistic" - that people are people wherever you go. If people feel appreciated, they'll likely work more willingly. If they feel unappreciated, their morale likely will fall. If they have been hurt, they'll likely put up their guard. We know it takes a while to build trust and usually no more than one act of betrayal or hurt for it to come crashing down.
Imagine how much more that likelihood is multiplied for online...relationships. (I use the term within this context ever so loosely.) For, connections online are, for the most part, just that, connections. But, here's the thing (go Monk!) whenever we venture into an online space, for social networking, hanging out, tweeting or other purposes, we are inviting other people into our sphere. We connect with followers or those we wish to follow; we accept friend requests and all that jazz, and at the click of a key, we have taken a whole other individual into our lives. A whole other person! We might think that it's just their professional side or their online persona. Let's not kid ourselves. Try as folks might, they don't compartmentalize as well as they might think they do. Given time and space, all their dimensions will be manifested to some degree in their "online self". And, as for those who just let it all hang out from day one? Again, a whole other person!!!
UNEXPECTED STRESSORS
So, when persons with whom you have a common interest (the point of the connection in the first place) begin to reveal sides of themselves that you hadn't seen coming; that conflict with your own values and belief system, what do you do? If they start to relate to the point of hurting you, what do you do? Do you just put up your guard? Start writing off people? Online relationships carry the luxury - if we could call it that - of immediate disconnection. No hard feelings - or so we think. For, in a number of instances, I'm pretty certain that some folks agonize over unfriending and unfollowing - especially when it's someone you at least sorta know or someone you knew from Adam but 20something years have passed without contact between you. As a human being, most times, the act of severing ties in any relationship comes from a conscious decision to do so. And what is the immediate thought? "What is he/she going to think?" or "Does this reflect poorly on me?" The point is, there is some amount of stress/anxiety related to the decision to sever ties.
How many of us can honestly unfriend or unfollow those we are to some degree acquainted with, without a second thought? I have found that it's not so easy. Quite a bit of thought might go into unfriending. Unfollowing might require a skin less thick. (Speaking of which, I don’t want to grow so thick a skin that I start looking and snapping like an alligator! I still want to be able to let some things through; things that will make me think and help me be a better person. Anyway, moving on…) More often than not, you don't know these people. If you do have some passing acquaintanceship, it's a hair's breadth more thought that goes into it. But, I maintain that persons should not subject themselves to disrespect, rudeness, hurt or any form of abuse online or offline.
The thicker the wall of anonymity, the harsher folks are wont to get when lashing out. Seen some comment boards lately? Some of them even allow the 'F' bomb - and I'm talking about (generally respectable) media house sites.
SHIFTING BACK
This foray into 'anything goes' on social networking sites and other media I'm sure has had its impact on my earlier mentioned shift in optimisim. Sometimes, people are cruel and harsh, simply because they can be. They have something ugly to say and a place to say it. I was reminded of that the other day, having ventured into a thread of comments. I went in, realizing that mine was the sole dissenting voice trying to tilt the collective view to a different perspective. Zilch. Felt like I was swimming upstream against a torrent of cynicism. I left the thread trying to put into words that which I was feeling. Self-righteous? No, that wasn’t it. Perfectionist? Nope. Tired of all the negative and the spewing vitriol and the unbridled cynicism? Yes. Yes, that’d be it. As I tweeted the other day, “Optimism rocks!” I long ago realized that I see the world through different lens. Ugly is around. But, I believe, beauty outweighs it by far. And I shall not lose sight of that. I'm shifting back!
As I posted on the brewsomegood tweet stream the other day - a line from a really nice poem: "I'm drinking from my saucer, for my cup has overflowed."
True that!
Claudia
www.cyopro.com
www.twitter.com/cyopro
Friday, 18 March 2011
"I play for the other team"
I heard a guy say that on an episode of a popular TV show the other day. I'd first heard the term several months ago while on a course at work. A colleague made reference to a TV host - how well he carried out his job - then made the comment in a "but-don't-get-your-hopes-up" kind of way.
Since the first time I heard it, it has become like the recently-bought-car phenomenon. I figured, though, that perhaps it had been said pretty often within earshot before. Only difference was that I hadn't yet been clued in to what the phrase meant.
It makes me wonder how far "society" has come in trying to come up with "a way to say it"; "it" being as much an operative term as "a way". Given one of my roles as diversity lead in my branch, within an organization ranked as one of Canada's Top 100 Employers a few years now; an organization that is committed to non-discriminatory hiring practices, I have been involved in organizing diversity and inclusion meetings and event-planning more than the average bear.
In one of those meetings we were informed about a glossary of terms that had been made available for quick reference. This, in light of the fact that sometimes folks who want to engage in conversations about diverse groups, might feel awkward or unsure about using the "wrong" term. The term might be outdated or not generation-appropriate or some such thing.
I've heard someone say that when he was much younger, a homosexual male would have been referred to as a "queer" by someone outside of that community. At that time, it was deemed derogatory. Nowadays, however, he noted that younger "gay" men (a newer term itself) seem not to mind the term "queer"; as if their use of it is an effort to remove the sting that used to be felt by their predecessors.
I've also learned that the acronym is pretty long, as members of the - can I say it? - queer community seek to be included/recognized. For a few years now, LGBTQ has expanded into LGBTTIQQ2S, which stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Intersex, Queer, Questioning, 2 Spirited.
So, when I heard the phrase, "I play for the other team" the other day, it made me wonder about how, in one fell swoop, the term helped to shrink the long acronym, convey the same meaning and, for some, made the idea easier to convey (read: more "palatable" for the older heterosexual generation).
Question is, as is the case with all other diversity, inclusion, multiculturalism, integration and like matters that are encountered on a daily basis, how easy is it to keep up? Navigating your way through the PC maze sometimes proves a tad challenging. You might feel like you're constantly having to walk on egg shells. You might decide that you're not going to subscribe to the PC thing. The choice is yours. Still, ladies and gentlemen, such is the planet on which we now reside.
Regarding the moral debate concerning homosexuality, especially as a Christian writer? That's for another post. Suffice it to say, I go the route of being Christlike - loving people, and knowing that no one is beyond Christ's life-changing reach. And I say that from a heart filled with gratitude for that reach.
Above all else, love.
Claudia
www.cyopro.com
www.twitter.com/cyopro
Since the first time I heard it, it has become like the recently-bought-car phenomenon. I figured, though, that perhaps it had been said pretty often within earshot before. Only difference was that I hadn't yet been clued in to what the phrase meant.
It makes me wonder how far "society" has come in trying to come up with "a way to say it"; "it" being as much an operative term as "a way". Given one of my roles as diversity lead in my branch, within an organization ranked as one of Canada's Top 100 Employers a few years now; an organization that is committed to non-discriminatory hiring practices, I have been involved in organizing diversity and inclusion meetings and event-planning more than the average bear.
In one of those meetings we were informed about a glossary of terms that had been made available for quick reference. This, in light of the fact that sometimes folks who want to engage in conversations about diverse groups, might feel awkward or unsure about using the "wrong" term. The term might be outdated or not generation-appropriate or some such thing.
I've heard someone say that when he was much younger, a homosexual male would have been referred to as a "queer" by someone outside of that community. At that time, it was deemed derogatory. Nowadays, however, he noted that younger "gay" men (a newer term itself) seem not to mind the term "queer"; as if their use of it is an effort to remove the sting that used to be felt by their predecessors.
I've also learned that the acronym is pretty long, as members of the - can I say it? - queer community seek to be included/recognized. For a few years now, LGBTQ has expanded into LGBTTIQQ2S, which stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Transsexual, Intersex, Queer, Questioning, 2 Spirited.
So, when I heard the phrase, "I play for the other team" the other day, it made me wonder about how, in one fell swoop, the term helped to shrink the long acronym, convey the same meaning and, for some, made the idea easier to convey (read: more "palatable" for the older heterosexual generation).
Question is, as is the case with all other diversity, inclusion, multiculturalism, integration and like matters that are encountered on a daily basis, how easy is it to keep up? Navigating your way through the PC maze sometimes proves a tad challenging. You might feel like you're constantly having to walk on egg shells. You might decide that you're not going to subscribe to the PC thing. The choice is yours. Still, ladies and gentlemen, such is the planet on which we now reside.
Regarding the moral debate concerning homosexuality, especially as a Christian writer? That's for another post. Suffice it to say, I go the route of being Christlike - loving people, and knowing that no one is beyond Christ's life-changing reach. And I say that from a heart filled with gratitude for that reach.
Above all else, love.
Claudia
www.cyopro.com
www.twitter.com/cyopro
Tuesday, 8 March 2011
Beyond Extraordinary
As we take a look around us, tune in (even when we don't) to media of all shapes, sizes, colours, bytes and networks, we are bound to see someone who is trying to be extraordinary - and freakishly so. What is just as certain, is that there will also be someone who is trying to go beyond extraordinary - and freakishly so.
Of course, a few persons come to mind: Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta aka Lady Gaga; Adidja Palmer aka Vybz Kartel (or should that be "Vybz "Michael 'Cakesoap' Jackson" Kartel" - yes, a couple aliases layered inside a primary alias. Whatever! ) And, not too long out of the gate, with 2.2M+ followers behind him in under a week, Carlos Irwin Estevez aka Charlie Sheen aka Warlock (acclaimed "Winner!", drinker of "Tiger Blood" and spewer of other claims and utterances that are sure signs of an implosion happening in T minus ???) Just hope somebody knocks him over the head and drags him into a space where he can really get the help he doesn't realize he needs; where the media can stop milking his rants for ratings.
It kinda reminds me of the line from The Incredibles: "When everyone is special, no one is special."
So, why the push to be extraordinary? Why the mad race to go beyond extraordinary? What's the alternative?
The answer surely isn't "Be yourself", for those who fall in either category will be quick to tell you that that's exactly what they're doing. They're being their own unique selves. And others who are apparently, by comparison, bordering on "ambitionless"? Is it that we lack the brand of fire to desire to stand out? To stand out "that much"? To stand out "so"?
For, I imagine, that the crux of the matter might just lie therein. The terror of becoming satisfied with being "just part of the crowd"; of being "a nobody".
Well, does the fact that "the world" - definition: YouTwitFace (as Conan puts it) - doesn't know about you, make you less than extraordinary? Keep you, and what you do, from being "beyond extraordinary"?
Says who? Who's in charge of putting value on you, your vocation, talent, contribution...?
Yet, it's so easy to get deeply immersed in what is being fed to us through every orifice, it seems. So easy to get and remain distracted for an inordinately long time by the self-acclaimed "value adders"; those with the "value stamp of approval"; those who, in the long run - in this long race - build the "value metre", measure us, find us wanting or not; lift us up or tear us down and so on and so forth.
Do those who strive to be extraordinary in these freakish, "celebritized" ways not soon become creatures - although, to be honest, I'm thinking more puppets - of the "value adders" et al on whose approval they feed? Do they not constantly try to outdo their last doing, to keep energizing the masses who, in turn, keep them elevated (we bow at your feet, your extraordinariness).
Maybe it's a symbiotic relationship, after all - i.e., if we could loosely apply the term "relationship".
And, maybe, we're near the tipping point where they're all beyond extraordinary so none of them is beyond extraordinary.
Claudia
www.cyopro.com
www.twitter.com/cyopro
Of course, a few persons come to mind: Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta aka Lady Gaga; Adidja Palmer aka Vybz Kartel (or should that be "Vybz "Michael 'Cakesoap' Jackson" Kartel" - yes, a couple aliases layered inside a primary alias. Whatever! ) And, not too long out of the gate, with 2.2M+ followers behind him in under a week, Carlos Irwin Estevez aka Charlie Sheen aka Warlock (acclaimed "Winner!", drinker of "Tiger Blood" and spewer of other claims and utterances that are sure signs of an implosion happening in T minus ???) Just hope somebody knocks him over the head and drags him into a space where he can really get the help he doesn't realize he needs; where the media can stop milking his rants for ratings.
It kinda reminds me of the line from The Incredibles: "When everyone is special, no one is special."
So, why the push to be extraordinary? Why the mad race to go beyond extraordinary? What's the alternative?
The answer surely isn't "Be yourself", for those who fall in either category will be quick to tell you that that's exactly what they're doing. They're being their own unique selves. And others who are apparently, by comparison, bordering on "ambitionless"? Is it that we lack the brand of fire to desire to stand out? To stand out "that much"? To stand out "so"?
For, I imagine, that the crux of the matter might just lie therein. The terror of becoming satisfied with being "just part of the crowd"; of being "a nobody".
Well, does the fact that "the world" - definition: YouTwitFace (as Conan puts it) - doesn't know about you, make you less than extraordinary? Keep you, and what you do, from being "beyond extraordinary"?
Says who? Who's in charge of putting value on you, your vocation, talent, contribution...?
Yet, it's so easy to get deeply immersed in what is being fed to us through every orifice, it seems. So easy to get and remain distracted for an inordinately long time by the self-acclaimed "value adders"; those with the "value stamp of approval"; those who, in the long run - in this long race - build the "value metre", measure us, find us wanting or not; lift us up or tear us down and so on and so forth.
Do those who strive to be extraordinary in these freakish, "celebritized" ways not soon become creatures - although, to be honest, I'm thinking more puppets - of the "value adders" et al on whose approval they feed? Do they not constantly try to outdo their last doing, to keep energizing the masses who, in turn, keep them elevated (we bow at your feet, your extraordinariness).
Maybe it's a symbiotic relationship, after all - i.e., if we could loosely apply the term "relationship".
And, maybe, we're near the tipping point where they're all beyond extraordinary so none of them is beyond extraordinary.
Claudia
www.cyopro.com
www.twitter.com/cyopro
Monday, 28 February 2011
A time for poetry
I do recall promising poetry on these pages, yes? (Wrote this one when I was almost 20.)
Oops!
I was sure I saw it in your eyes
Heard it in your laughs
Saw it in your smiles
Couldn't have mistaken it
For anything but love.
Was so very sure of it
Could have put my life on it
It was pure and free and just enough.
Your actions were bilingual
For your words were very few.
You didn't say what I wanted to hear
But, I knew you had it in you.
Now, you have come and touched and gone
And your impression was deep.
The prints, erased
But the scars remain.
And tears fall incessantly
Like spring rain.
And I may just fall for you again
...I know me.
- Dnafcnatgada
Friday, 18 February 2011
The Day She Shout Out Loud
She convinced herself that there wasn't anything wrong in doing this. There's a community for it, why not give it a GO? (If you knew her routine, you'd get it.) After all, one never knows, does one?
So, she submitted her Shout Out to the (perceived) widely popular evening newspaper:
OK. It's now or never. I've mustered up the appropriate amount of courage and the butterflies are flying in V-formation. LSW; originally from Jamaica; [inserted age] SBF; MA degree; great job w/govt (& love what I do); closely-knitted family (we actually like each other); never married; hope to be; no children; want children; Christian; love to journal/write/blog/tweet; baggage? outdated carry-on; laugh a lot; happy; gym 2-3x/wk; romantic; movies at home; like cooking n dancing n bowling n Monk; hate doing laundry (just sayin'.) Ready to love (n be loved by) Mr. Right-for-me. “Opposites attract but likes stay together.” Could you see us getting and staying together? And, most important, do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? There. I said it. (Shout) Out loud. Tee hee. S.O. folks, if you want a wedding invitation, you’d better post this! *crosses fingers* - Monk Fan [inserted email address]
Three days later, they published her ad, with edits. The kind that were agreeable. She wrote and told them so - as well as thanks for publishing it, of course. After all, one should be thankful for free (personal) ad space, mustn't one?
OK. It's now or never. I've mustered up the appropriate amount of courage and the butterflies are flying in V-formation. LSW; originally from Jamaica; [inserted age] SBF; MA degree; great job w/govt; closely-knitted family; never married, hope to be; no children, want children; Christian; love to journal/write/blog/tweet; baggage? outdated carry-on; laugh a lot; happy; gym 2-3x/wk; romantic; movies at home; like cooking n dancing n bowling n Monk; Ready to love (n be loved by) Mr. Right-for-me. Opposites attract but likes stay together. Could you see us getting and staying together? S.O. folks, if you want a wedding invitation, you’d better post this! *crosses fingers* - Monk Fan [inserted email address]
Then, she waited. A pastime that had become familiar...
Claudia
www.cyopro.com
www.twitter.com/cyopro
www.cyopro.com
www.twitter.com/cyopro
Tuesday, 8 February 2011
While you were out: World Peace achieved
As a few of my co-workers returned from lunch the other day, one of them asked, “Anything interesting happened while we were out?” Without missing a beat – and I’m still not sure where it came from – I responded, “World peace was achieved!” I followed up with, “I wish!” and we laughed it off. But, nonetheless, it got me thinking that there are days when you just want to close your eyes and open them...Voila! Everything is in its place and all is right with the world.
Well, at least, your world.
Given the plethora of things that can (and do) go wrong on any given day, it’s amazing how most of us manage to keep it together. True, things are not always in ‘the-sky-is-falling!’ mode, but, sometimes, when you do try to take it one day at a time, as that old quote says: “Some days seem to attack you all at once.”
And that’s just in your 2x2 zone. Look outside of that and you become aware of people and their hurts and their despair and their voicelessness. Yes, there’s lotsa beauty to behold, but we’re not talking beauty now. At this moment. We’re talking about the ugly and the fact that, in many circumstances, it doesn’t have to be.
The Hiding
What makes it worse, however, is that some of us, with our multiplicity of media, including social media, and platforms from which to speak, take advantage of that. Even – and especially – when we shouldn’t. It’s pretty easy to hide behind…okay, let’s say use pseudonyms and monikers and what not, as we comment on news items and so on. (After all, I use - not hide behind - Cee Dubya. Well, it kinda started off as kinda hiding behind, but for the apprehension of dealing with negative criticism. Now, I just use it - and should perhaps add my real name to future postings...oh the digression.) But it becomes “hiding behind” when we lash out at other faceless and sometimes real-nameless persons. There’s a theory my sis has mentioned and I’ve forgotten what it’s called. It seeks to explain that the more far removed you are from your ‘target’ the harsher you are prone to get. And we see examples of that every single solitary day as we comb the comment boards on various sites – mainstream and other media alike. People say really mean and ugly and harsh things to their fellow human beings; things that they would never say to them in person, but for the fact that they are remaining anonymous. Kinda like an ‘average Joe’ with a gun, isn’t it? Wouldn’t be confrontational in a situation, much more fight it out. Yet, standing behind a .38 calibre (Way too much TV here. No, wait! Maybe, it’s just the news) he is Mr. Tough n Ready.
Because we can?
So, folks hide and hit and run off to the next story and the next comment board. This past week, this issue was brought to the fore by way of a rather sad piece of news. Looking through an edition of the Jamaica Observer, I came upon the story of a gentleman who had passed oh so suddenly, a day short of his 70th birthday. He had climbed an ackee tree and met his end when he fell and suffered head trauma. Now, what took me aback were a few of the comments. They not only questioned his decision to climb a tree at that age (I didn’t know the man, I have only read accounts that he was strong and in good health), but also insinuated that he was stingy! That he could have paid a younger person to do that blah blah blah. And I’m thinking, are you nuts?! Does your elevator go all the way to the top? Because, unless you’re, y’know, clueless, you would understand that the probability of family members reading the story, and its online comments, is very high. What would possess someone to offer condolences in one breath and criticize the person for causing-his-own-death-because-he-was-stingy in the other? ‘Two’ words: un believable. How would you imagine the family members felt upon reading those comments, or, for the much older ones who are not too computer/Internet savvy, having the comments read to them?
The Ugly: Co-created by...
There are a few times when we say things that we regret, even as the last syllable is leaving our lips. A kind of similar thing happens when we write – especially in haste. When we write, however, we have a little more wiggle room. If we’re still in the pen and paper mode, we can ‘white out’, cross out…you get the idea. At our computer, we almost invariably have the option of backspacing/deleting before we hit ‘post comment’. Could we at least re-read our comments about things of such a sensitive nature before we post? How are they likely to affect the real people concerned? As another sis pointed out, the affected family aren’t actors in a movie. They are real people. We might be standing on top of our podium – tap tap, is this thing on? – clearing our throats and uttering our rhetoric for all of cyberspace to hear. But, to whom it does concern, how helpful is our speech? How much of the ugly do we help to create? (And then bicker about later? But that’s for another post.)
We breathe the same air (part of a fav line from Mr. Monk and the Astronaut)
I just imagine this scenario in many other situations and the multiplier effect. Just one of the reasons for the elusive “World Peace”. (Do beauty contestants still make that wish?) At the risk of sounding sanctimonious, I humbly posit: Let’s be kinder, even when online, even when using a moniker and especially in really sensitive situations.
It may not seem like it’s covering a wide geographic area, but, where we have a personal test of our humanity, let’s win! Let’s begin, in our own world, to reduce the ugly and to increase peace. ‘Cause, in case you haven’t yet realized it, our worlds are connected - and we breathe the same air!
Claudia
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
