Wild Abandon

First post for the year and I gotta admit that I've been giving much thought to how much I'd like to improve the quality of my writing.  It's not about a new year's resolution.  It's about wanting to get to a higher level.  Yes, I've been writing to save my life.  And I know that, wherever I go in my writing, I will continue to do that on some level.  But, "my life" has begun to yearn for me to go deeper; write better.  See, it has to be at my own pace. 

In giving thought to writing at a deeper level, I recall reading somewhere that what we dread to write about the most; that which we are ashamed of, usually makes for good writing - and great reading.  And, I'm thinking, wouldn't they like to know?  I agree to a large extent with this idea, though.  Could you imagine if I were brave enough to write about all the stuff that has caused me pain, or embarrassment, or deep anxiety over the years?

Well, in the first place, I imagine I would need to treat them as more than mere "stuff".  I'd have to get into the nitty-gritty; get down and dirty; hang out all my linen for all and sundry to see.  Of course, I could always write about these experiences using the cloak of fictional characters.  Would I be able to pull it off without a trace? Should that be the aim?  I don't know.  And, I don't know that I'm there yet.  

That's the crux of it right there, really.  I don't know that I'm there yet.  I believe that the kind of writing that makes you... forces you to let it all out, has to be of a certain calibre, and has to come at a certain time in life.  Do I doubt my ability to write in that don't-care mode ('cause that's what it calls for, I believe).  No, I don't doubt my ability to write with the requisite abandon.  What I think I need, really, is the proper motivation.

So, I am not writing with wild abandon and "dunkya" because, well, it isn't "hurting bad enough yet."

But it will.  It will.


Claudia
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