I finally figured out what I found so funny the other day as I read my old notebook (and folder leaves - remember those?) of poems. It was the kind of feather that knocks you over when you think, "Look at what I was intent on getting, when God had so much more in mind for me?!" This is not the same as "What was I possibly thinking?" Because, I knew what I was thinking. I was thinking that I was in love. And, I'm not about to make fun of my younger-in-love self. But, just looking at what I thought was "the best thing, ever!" even asking God whether He was sure He could "top this", I just laugh right out loud given my 20/20 hindsight. Yeah, each of whom I thought was "The One", was, clearly, at best "The Two".
After the laughs, I smile. I reflect just a tad on how things were and I'm either glad that it happened or glad that it is over. Most of all, I'm glad I had put it into words. Here now, from me at 20: "Virgin Territory" and at 21: "Company".
Virgin Territory
Recently, all my thoughts of you
Have flowed from tears.
Salty, burning, irritating water
That springs from a bleeding heart.
Why do you cause me so much pain?
I thought by now I'd have refrained
From wishing to be near you,
Desiring with every nerve and sinew
To be loved by you again.
Cause me joy. Cause me laughter.
Cause me to be happy ever after
You tell me that you have to go.
I feel empty without you so
I'm going to wallow in this
My pity of self!
Weep and sob
Until the knob
Of the door is turned
Inviting me
Into peaceful, virgin territory.
- Dnafcnatgada
Company
My most beautiful moments
Have been with you
Under a black velvet sky -
By the sea -
You, my dreams and me.
With your laughter
You share the music of my heart
The rhythms of my soul,
All that I've longed for
To have and to hold...
On to your thoughts
That you share with me.
You touch. I feel.
There's more to meeting
Than just...company.
My most beautiful moments
Sharing our laughter, our thoughts
With the wind. By the sea.
You, my dreams and me.
- Dnafcnatgada
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