Monday, 8 October 2012
The Discomfort of a Certain Word and Term
There are a few words and terms that scare me. (No. "Boo!" is not one of them :-) And, perhaps "scare" is too strong. I'd say they make me uncomfortable. I would like to think that I'm totally over them, as in, the use of them. And, I would be right - for the most part. For the little part that's left, I'm okay when I hear them being used. To use them myself? Not so much. So, I hardly do.
One of those words is "aspect". Yep. That's it. Aspect. Allow me to use it in a sentence. "He and I have been friends for many years and I know about every aspect of his life." Yeeeaaah. Those were the words as they came out of her mouth as she told me about my then boyfriend. Don't know why, but, of all the words, "aspect" was the one that stood out. So, I stopped using it. I quickly found a substitute for every time I was about to use it in a sentence. I found "area" did the job rather well.
Like I said, I don't...didn't cringe so much when I heard other people use it. No control there. But, my use of it was a no-no. It just always brought me back, instantaneously, to that gloating, vitriolic voice telling me why her friendship with him was more important than mine.
Given that the hurt of that time has long passed and given my under-use of the word, nowadays, I'm good. On the rare occasion I hear it, I think, "It has surely lost its sting."
The term "soul mate" is up next. I used it once referring to a new interest as I shared the excitement of new love. During the time together, I thought we had so much in common; that he could well be my soul mate. Turned out he wasn't. And, hot on the heels of our cleavage, one of those with whom I had shared the aforementioned excitement, used the same term to describe what they and their spouse had. Sure showed me. Haven't used it since.
I used to think there was one soul mate for each person; someone with whom you have a heck of a lot in common and many things just clicked. Now, I'm not so sure. I mean, what about those folks whose soul mate has died; they remarry; they live 30+ years together with this new love - undoubtedly in love? Maybe they were/are just blessed that way - two mates for their soul. Or, maybe there is just one soul mate and the lasting love that comes after is "just" someone who loves them for them. Period. I'd like to think that that counts for something. For those who marry for the 4th and 5th (and counting) time, without experiencing the death of the previous spouse, I dunno. Maybe by then it's a soul friend or a coffee mate or something. I dunno. They have their reasons. Whenever I hear a couple use the term "soul mate" nowadays, I think, "That's nice." There's no sarcasm; they know why they use it and that's nice.
Today is Thanksgiving Day in Canada. Among many things, I thank God for my life; being alive and the ability to live life enjoyably. I'm anal and persnickety and everyone who knows me knows that. And yet, they love me. Little wonder that I am thankful for my family and close friends. And, the fact that I can recognize and quickly choose not to embrace the small stressors in my life? That's nice, too.