Sunday, 18 December 2011


The following account is false.  It has been widely spread across the Internet as "a telephone exchange, between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia"; an exchange which, to boot, "was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review."

Actually, the author of this delightful piece is renowned comic Shelley Berman.  (Same guy who gave us “Hotel Soap”.)  And, in true Shelley Berman style, it is oh so funny!  Enjoy!

Room Service (RS): Morny. Ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.

RS: Rye. Ruin sorbees, morny! Djewish to odor sunteen?
G: Uh, yes I'd like some bacon and eggs.

RS: Ow July den?
G: What? Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.

RS: Ow July dee bayhcem?  Crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.

RS: Hokay. An san toes?
G: What?

RS: San toes. July san toes?
G: I don't think so.

RS: No? Judo one toes?
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means.

RS: Toes! toes! Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?
G: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.

RS: We bother?
G: No, just put the bother on the side.

RS: Wad?
G: I mean butter, just put it on the side.

RS: Copy?
G: Sorry?

RS: Copy, tea, mill?
G: Yes. Coffee please, and that's all.

RS: One minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy. Rye?
G: Whatever you say.

RS: Tendjewberrymud.
G : You're welcome.


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