Thursday, 8 December 2011

And You Thought Your Holiday Greeting Was Politically Correct

My friend, Debbie, shared this with me back in December 1999.   I thought it was a keeper.  I wrote about being politically correct the other day.  At the time, I thought of inserting this piece.  However, by the end of the post, I figured that doing so would've made the entry way too long.  (My search for the author has not yet borne fruit. Kindly advise, if you know, so I can give the credit as due.) Here is, for your reading pleasure - or to your chagrin - one of the most politically correct holiday greetings everrrrr!

"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all...

...and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year [2012], but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Britain great, (not to imply that Britain is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only country in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.


(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms.) This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal and is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher who assumes no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.

The colour of this greeting has no bearing on anything whatsoever and is purely arbitrary given the limited selection of colours and tones available to choose from within the browser used to prepare this message."

Merry Christmas, everybody!!!


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