Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Hot Chocolate

The year 2011 is coming quickly to a close...yadda yadda yawn.

I'd planned to share a third fave for this third December post.  But, at some point today, I decided to make a more personal one about what 2011 was for me.  Long and short, there were way more good times than bad.  There were only two things I would've done different.  But, learned that God has a way of giving me beauty for ashes; making something beautiful out of ugly.

Now for the other stuff: I visited Jamaica; turned for-ty; finished a play; came back and bought a house; had a kind o' surgery done - the attending nurse had said that post-op was gonna "hurt like a b*tch!"  That it did.  For months!  Experienced healing; had a crush; was crushed upon - mutually exclusive; crushes crashed - not into each other; did a photo shoot; wrote a novel; was told I was "a hot chocolate."  Aaaaand hosted my first Christmas family dinner at the new place.  Blessings galore!  Thank You, God.

Btw, don't want the ugly from the (almost) past year to go with you into the new?  Then...let go.

Thanks for sticking around and checking out this blog for 2011.  Thanks for supporting me as I write "to save my life." #writeorsuffocate. Yeeeaah, I know this is one of the shorter posts.  Much more to say about my year in review but, like I said last year, my prayer journal gets it all. ;-)


Sunday, 18 December 2011


The following account is false.  It has been widely spread across the Internet as "a telephone exchange, between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia"; an exchange which, to boot, "was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review."

Actually, the author of this delightful piece is renowned comic Shelley Berman.  (Same guy who gave us “Hotel Soap”.)  And, in true Shelley Berman style, it is oh so funny!  Enjoy!

Room Service (RS): Morny. Ruin sorbees.
Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.

RS: Rye. Ruin sorbees, morny! Djewish to odor sunteen?
G: Uh, yes I'd like some bacon and eggs.

RS: Ow July den?
G: What? Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.

RS: Ow July dee bayhcem?  Crease?
G: Crisp will be fine.

RS: Hokay. An san toes?
G: What?

RS: San toes. July san toes?
G: I don't think so.

RS: No? Judo one toes?
G: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means.

RS: Toes! toes! Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?
G: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.

RS: We bother?
G: No, just put the bother on the side.

RS: Wad?
G: I mean butter, just put it on the side.

RS: Copy?
G: Sorry?

RS: Copy, tea, mill?
G: Yes. Coffee please, and that's all.

RS: One minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy. Rye?
G: Whatever you say.

RS: Tendjewberrymud.
G : You're welcome.


Thursday, 8 December 2011

And You Thought Your Holiday Greeting Was Politically Correct

My friend, Debbie, shared this with me back in December 1999.   I thought it was a keeper.  I wrote about being politically correct the other day.  At the time, I thought of inserting this piece.  However, by the end of the post, I figured that doing so would've made the entry way too long.  (My search for the author has not yet borne fruit. Kindly advise, if you know, so I can give the credit as due.) Here is, for your reading pleasure - or to your chagrin - one of the most politically correct holiday greetings everrrrr!

"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all...

...and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year [2012], but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Britain great, (not to imply that Britain is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only country in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.


(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms.) This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal and is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher who assumes no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.

The colour of this greeting has no bearing on anything whatsoever and is purely arbitrary given the limited selection of colours and tones available to choose from within the browser used to prepare this message."

Merry Christmas, everybody!!!